Lent 21 Blessed when you Mourn

I can remember the Sunday afternoon vividly when so many things I tend to forget.  I was driving south toward Joplin to get ready for a week that I loved to be a part of: Teen Camp.  I was just about to Joplin on the back roads when my phone rang.  I got the news that my brother had been stung by a yellow jacket and had an allergic reaction to the sting.  The doctors were not sure if he would make it.  I remember turning around and heading for home in a daze.  I started to think through the details of how to get to Washington, who would go, what to bring, details, details, details... Then I got this impression that I needed to take a suit.  At that moment I burst into tears knowing that I was going to Washington for a funeral.  

My brother was physically revived after he had not breathed for quite some time and it was determined that he did not have any brain activity-  we had to let him go.  Julie and I stayed in Washington through the funeral.  This was my deepest time of mourning that I had experienced in my life.  A loss that I could not just work through in a funeral service time frame.  A loss that took me deep down the path of mourning.  I was deeply angry with God for leaving my brother's kids without a father.  They were 11 years old and I knew this would be a difficult road for them to manage.  When the moment came and my brother took his last breath,  I read from the Psalms about God being the father to the fatherless.  I read this because I was so angry with God for leaving those two kids without a dad.  I worked through the stages of grief in many ways the following days and mostly deep inside so no one would see my pain.

I know two things clearly about mourning.  One, the temptation of mourning is always to push us away from God and to blame God for all the bad things that have happened to us.  The voice of temptation is casting blame on God and causing us to doubt if God really cares about us and whether God is even good at all.  The second thing I know about grieving is God is present.  In the midst of the pain He is always there.  Sometimes we might not be able to feel His love and comfort but He is there. 

So Jesus says "You are blessed when you mourn."  When you are in mourning you can know that you are not going through these dark days because God no longer favors you or that God has abandoned you.  And when we are in our darkest days we can look to God and find joy and comfort.  Maybe even happiness.