No Tolerance for Gossip

Proverbs 26:20 Fire goes out without wood,
    and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

I heard Dave Ramsey talk about leadership last week and he said that one "Unity Killer" in every organization was gossip.  So he works hard to develop a no tolerance for gossip mentality at his organization.  He is willing and often has to fire people because of gossip.  

Proverbs reminds us of the wisdom of this reality in that when we can take away gossip from an organization we will reduce quarrels.  Argument and disagreements are so many times caused by gossip.  

What does gossip look like in the church?  Telling someone that they really need to pray about someone and sharing a request that you didn't have the right to share.  We all believe in the power of prayer, but hopefully we can learn to do a better job of not sharing private information in the name of prayer. 

Complaining to the wrong person:  how often when we have an issue with something at church we start complaining, but we start complaining to the wrong person.  Can you believe what the teacher said today in our small group?  One of the most frustrating things about being a pastor today is that so few people are actually willing to come and sit down and talk to me if there is an issue with me.  I always seem to hear it from someone else.  Sometimes our desire to be in the "KNOW" causes us to cultivate gossip instead of fight against it.  

We need to all work diligently at making the church a place of no tolerance for gossip.  Practice saying things like, "I'm glad you trust in me enough to share this, but you really need to talk to ______________."  "You know, we just don't talk like that here!"  

Reason #15

I left the church because one day, they put signs out in the church lawn that said “Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman: Vote Yes on Prop 1,” and I knew the moment I saw them that I never wanted to come back. 

Jesus had an incredible way of dealing with people so that he communicated that he loved and cared for people - then he dealt with the sin issues of their lives.  Jesus was only harsh with the religious leaders of the day who claimed to know God.  Everyone else Jesus healed, fed, loved and cared for before he confronted their sin.  He was not afraid to say, "Now go and sin no more!"  Jesus loved people too much to not let them know God had a better plan for their lives then to continue to live in their sinful ways.  

I believe the churches problem with trying to change our culture  by political action is that we put the confrontation in front of the love and compassion.  It is difficult to propose a law that promotes Biblical principles on marriage without it communicating to a group of people that we don't value you or care about you.  I believe this is just a short cut mentality.  God calls us to invest in people in need that live and work around us.  When we do this we will find people in need of friendship and love.  As we meet the needs of people around us, God will open opportunities for us to speak truth in a loving way to people - when they are ready to hear!  Now that is hard work. It may take us years to develop a trusting relationship and then it may take a few more years before that person is ready to hear.  We have to not only invest in people on a consistent basis, but then we must be willing to wait until the Holy Spirit tells us to speak.  No wonder we would just rather try and pass a law that communicates God's truth.  

Follow Jesus' example!  Don't get caught up in the political shortcuts!  Do the hard things!  God will help us and reward our efforts!  It is God's Kingdom that should be our priority and therefore we need to do things God's way! 

Reason #9

I left the church because I felt like I was the only one troubled by stories of violence and misogyny and genocide found in the Bible, and I was tired of people telling me not to worry about it because “God’s ways are higher than our ways.”

The Bible is such an important faith issue in our journey with Jesus.  It is full of wonder, mystery, conflict and troubling stories.  It is no wonder that for some it is easier to just be selective about what parts of the Bible they want to accept and which parts they can just ignore.  

We have to avoid simple answers to complicated questions.  There are no simple answers to why God would ask the Jewish people to destroy and kill the women, children, and animals of a city they were fighting against. There are some complicated explanations that in the end may not satisfy the heart, but at least they show that we care enough to think through our faith instead of just accepting without processing the deeper questions.  Life is complicated and messy.  The Bible is complicated and messy.  Our spiritual journey with God is complicated and messy!  The good thing about this coming generation of young people - they can handle things being unresolved much better than being simplified.  

We have to quit ignoring the questions and hoping they will go away.  People are hungry for God or at least hungry for something beyond themselves. The church must step up to the conversation with people in a loving and compassionate way.  Figure out how to be people of conversation instead of lecture.  Figure out how to listen to the questions that are being asked so we can join in the dialogue that will point people to the love of Jesus.  

We must still hold on to the truth of the Good News of Jesus!  In the same breath, we must be able to come down from our holy mountain and make the Good News flesh.  Just like Jesus did.  

Reason #8

I left the church because it was often assumed that everyone in the congregation voted for Republicans. 


(15 Reason I Left the Church - Rachel Held Evans) 


I have to confess - back in the late 1980's while I was working as a locksmith - I listened to Rush Limbaugh on a regular basis.  I could say that the locksmith van only had a "AM" radio and it was the only station I could pick up, but the reality is I enjoyed it.  I have never really had a great desire to be involved in politics, but I guess I was a Republican for a few years.  I think it all changed for me when a particular president and congress were both in power and from the republican party and I like many other Christians thought - "Okay, now things might really change."  I really had put my hope in the political system of the Republican party, only to hit the wall of reality.  Nothing really changed like I thought I was promised it would.  God really spoke to me about the reality that I must put my hope and trust in Christ alone, not a political party.  


I believe it is a good thing to have Christian politicians in office.  
I believe we are called to pray for every authority! 
I believe many people will always have strong political views and opinions and be a part of the church.  
I believe there is hope for the United States of American, but I no longer believe our hope will be in our political system.  Spiritual renewal and revival starting with the youth of the Body of Christ is our only hope.  
I believe it is in the best interest for the church to keep our political opinions at home!  The Bible reminds us to avoid pointless and divisive arguments.  We surely have better things to talk about as the Body of Christ than to talk about politics. 


Paul reminded Timothy and us that "our hope is in the living God.." (1 Timothy 4:10)   

Reason #7

7. I left the church because I didn’t want to be anyone’s “project.”  (Rachel Held Evans) 

I began to listen to Coldplay when I heard the song - Fix You.  Sure it is a great song for many reasons, but what a great message for life.  How many times has it been my desire to fix what broken in my family, friends and even in my own life.  What a natural desire for us to want to be someone who could fix someone else.  

Followers of Christ have a huge temptation in this area.  Jesus has so helped transform our hearts and lives that it is natural for us to want that for other people.  But the problem comes when we forget that it is God who is the one and only mediator between God and people.  (1 Timothy 2)   God is the healer!  God is the one who can fix the broken heart!  I may at time get to play a small role in God's plan to heal and or fix things, but it is only because the Holy Spirit of God lives in me.  

Followers of Jesus must invest their lives in other people.  It is our calling!  It is our purpose!  But we must realize that people are not our projects, they are God's projects.  We are called to love people and be an example of God's incredible grace and mercy.  I believe this shows up most if we are unwilling to continue down a path of friendship with someone who does not follow Jesus.  If you invest in someone because of the love of God is calling you, then you will continue to love them even if they never come to your church or never get any closer to God.  If they are your project, you will get frustrated with their lack of progress and you will quit investing in them.  If they are your project you will somehow try and take credit if God does transform their hearts and lives.  

We are called to love like Jesus - learning to love others unconditionally.  

Reason #6

I left the church because sometimes I doubt, and church can be the worst place to doubt.
Rachel Held Evans

The church should be the best place to doubt and to bring your doubts to fellow doubters who either do doubt or did process through some doubt at some point in their journey.  But the reality is we have created a climate in the church that says you should never doubt.  Never bring honest and open feelings up even in a small group setting.  If you do, people look at you funny.  They might snicker or laugh.  Somehow we are effective in communicating if you have serious doubts take them somewhere else.

I believe that people in the church have convinced themselves that doubting is evil and wrong.  Don't be like Thomas and doubt.  Thomas doubted that Jesus was resurrected from the dead and he refused to believe until he saw Jesus and felt his scars.  And there is a place where doubt will hinder our faith, but there is also a place where the Spirit of the Lord can help us transform our doubts into faith.  This may never happen if we don't have a place to acknowledge and deal honestly with our doubts. 

Sometimes our spiritual pride has kept us from dealing with our own deep down doubts about God and the meaning of life.  God longs for us to humble ourselves and to get so close to a group of fellow believers that we are willing to deal with these doubts.  But if we would rather keep up our spititual reputation and false image, we will never deal with our own doubt and we can never help others deal with their doubts.

Embrace your questions and doubts!  Take them to God and to a few trusted friends!

15 Reasons Why I Left the Church - Reason Five

Rachel Held Evans – Age 27 left the church – now 30

I left the church because I believe the earth is 4.5 billion years old and that humans share a common ancestor with apes, which I was told was incompatible with my faith. 

How literally do we take the first chapter of Genesis has a huge impact on the church today.  The joy of our theology is that we believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God and has no error concerning our salvation.  In other words, everything we need to know about God's plan for us to have a connection with God and to be part of His Kingdom is completely spelled out in the Bible.  Leaving the door open to the realization that there may be some translation issues - some interpretation issues - some symbolism - cultural influences - etc. that have impacted the Bible as we have it today.  So the six days of creation do not have to be interpreted as literal six twenty four hours.  The Bible was inspired by God and written by people whose personalities vary and whose perceptions of life vary.  

For many who believe that the Bible is perfect/without error and must be completely interpreted as literal - there is no way to incorporate a 4.5 billion year old world.  God created the world in 6 days and so the world is only thousands of years old.  This is the only literal way to translate the Bible and the creation story.  And if the Bible can't be taken literally in the creation story, well; you have to throw out the Bible completely.  

For me the greater issue is to let God be God.  Not a single one of us was there when God created this world.  So let God be the creative and awesome God of all creation.  If God wanted to create the world in six days and make it look like it took Him millions of years, who am I to say God couldn't do it that way.  If God is not as limited to time as we are and he took millions of years to create and revealed it to man as these are the six time periods of development I used to create the world, who am I to say God couldn't do it that way.  

To continue to reach this generation of young people we will have to expand our understanding in the areas of science and technology.  They are well schooled and we will have to be more open minded to the complicated issues of the world than the church has been in the past.  I try to read from the Christian 6 day creation side of the argument as well as 4.5 billion year old science side of the argument so I can be knowledgeable and have a intelligent discussion with people who have issues on both sides of the issue.  

For me - the issue is not clear enough to take a stand that will turn people away from God on either side of the issue.